Sob Story

I'm in a moment in my life where it feels like everything is spinning. I can't keep my feet on the ground. I'm trying to focus on my mindset. I'm making "Positive Thoughts Attract Positive Actions" my mantra.

Though, this process has also helped me realized that some of my "friends" have really only been party friends. And I wish I was strong enough to say that finally acknowledging this hasn't effected me. It's quite the opposite actually. I'm at a point where I want them the most and they are no where to be found. (Well that's not true. I could find them at a bar or a party if I really wanted to but I don't)

I don't have the energy for the bar scene. I need to get my finances and my mental stability in order first. The bar is not where I wish to be found. I can't keep drowning away my sorrows. Not to mention the bar eats my wallet. It's like an money monger that sweet talks my wallet into opening up and just giving everything away. ...Well... that and once I start really drinking I can't stop.

I wish the people that call themselves my "friends" were friends enough to find out whats going on. Why not only I, but Nate, have been MIA.

I can hear the response I would give someone else if they were telling this story to me. "Those aren't real friends if you ask me. Sounds like you need new people in your life."
It's not like I don't know this, or don't feel it. I do.
The situation is simple, I loved them enough to call them friends. When I love, I love deep. I need to control those emotions and remember I can't expect everyone to put out what I do.

Everything I need to "know", is tucked away safely in my head. Utilizing the information is different.

"I cling because I care" -my best contribution; my worst downfall.